this is my journal, i'll do as i please

man, the time is flying toward the end of the year. i can't believe november is nearly upon us and that means winter. i am so behind with emails and news. i feel like a bad friend.

i feel like nothing much has happened of interest lately, but all the same i'm neglecting my lj. so um, i'm not doing anything for halloween this year. i've been invited to join several groups going out to see the parade and party afterward but i just can't get into the spirit this year. i was busy with my wedding and then the boy's immigration application and didn't have the time or inclination to plan a costume. ah well, there's always next year.

i'm fighting off getting sick, i refuse to succumb to illness right now. i scorn lesser mortals who freak out over this h1n1 virus. it's just the flu people! eat healthy soup meat and veggies, cover your mouth and nose, wash your hands, and stay away from sick folk.

i managed to gather all the boy's IR-1 (spousal) visa application paperwork together and mailed to the us dept of homeland security, immigration division. now it's just a waiting process to see what happens next and how long it takes. we're filing everything ourselves since it's not THAT complicated and lawyers are hella expensive! i just hope nothing goes wrong.

and that's all the news that's fit to print!

Being a believer that good service should always be recognised, I thought it might be cool to give a quick review and recommendation for the b&b's the boy and I were fortunate enough to patronise during our all-too-brief honeymoon on the North Shore.

Should any of you or folks you know find yourselves along Lake Superior, I highly recommend you patronise any/all of the following:

Spirit of Gitche Gumee
6228 Highway 61
Silver Bay, MN 55614
http://www.gitchegumee.net/
A simple and modest little 4-bd B&B in the middle of nowhere on hwy 61. Ideal for peace and quiet but not for the demanding traveller. The beds are comfy, the showers clean and the daily fresh scones are the best I've ever had (seriously!).

Laurium Manor Inn
320 Tamarack St
Laurium, MI 49913
http://www.laurium.info/
A former mining boss' mansion turned into a gorgeous B&B. Guests can explore the whole house as all rooms are restored in turn-of-the-century grandeur. The full self-serve continental breakfast in the dining room (former ballroom?) was delicious.

Inn at Timber Cove
1319 Sanborn Ave
Ashland, WI 54806
http://www.innattimbercove.com/
A former farmhouse now converted into a B&B; this is located on a huge property with plenty of space for walking, berry and apple-picking (in season) and croquet! Evening dessert and breakfast tray is brought to your room but be warned, the hostess prepares enough to feed 6 grown adults!

back home in hoboken. both weddings were lovely and went off quite well, no major issues to settle and everyone had a great time (as far as i could tell).

i would love to post a photo but my lowest-level account doesn't seem to allow it. =(

it's my last day at work for two weeks, my first and probably only vacation this year! i doubt it will be very restful though. if anything, it will be more stressful and sleep-depriving than my normal work schedule. all the flights and time-zone changes should wreak havoc with my inner clock. still it should be awesome to see old friends and family again.

all plans have been finalised, all the details ironed out and it feels nice to sit back and enjoy it. the weather has been lovely this week so hopefully it will stick around once i get back. i hope the north shore will be picturesque as usual in autumn. i hope it doesn't piss it down in manchester all during the outdoor reception. but this is manchester, so i'm not holding out much chance of a dry afternoon...

i have finally come back around and like my dress again. it only took two months. it 'is' an extravagant dress, but it's lovely and suits me very well. i'll maybe post a photo or two here after the craziness of the week dies down.

hopefully my work accounts will be taken care of in my absence and i won't walk back into a total snafu. =) we'll see.

two weeks today til i fly to mpls for the start of wedding festivities. everything has fallen into place nicely so far, no crises or major panics yet either. i'm feeling a little more positive about the whole thing than a month ago. i think once i'm there and actually seeing everyone, it will feel more real. it's seemed so abstract and far away until now.

i am a little sad that certain friends and relatives won't be able to make it to either ceremony. i knew that going in, but it's still unfortunate. that's what happens when one's friends are scattered across multiple continents. i hope it's an enjoyable two weeks though. it's my only vacation this year!

the english premiership season begins today! i'm so excited to see arsenal in action! hope we can keep more than half the team fit this year.

tonight i picked up my crochet hook for the first time in...several months. i can't actually remember the last time i crocheted anything. the last project i finished was a scarf for karine's bday, the first week of february. i started another scarf after that but found it hard to stay motivated. it's been half complete and sitting in a corner of my room since mid-march. i just haven't had any impetus to pick up my hooks. tonight i thought i'd give it another go while i sit here and listen to radio france culture on the net.

my wedding gown arrived on thursday and i went for my first fitting. as expected, it was too tight across the hips and too large in the bodice. at least the length was ok. sadly, i didn't manage to lose as much weight as i hoped. the seamstress will be able to let it out 1" but it will still be quite tight. =(

standing there looking in the mirror, i finally admitted i should not have gotten this dress. i knew it at the time, and i knew it these last months. it is a beautiful gown, it looks like something you'd wear to the oscars or a museum gala, but it's not the simple chic i first thought of and should have gone with for my wedding. some of the lace and beading was already coming off just from the transport and trying it on. who knows what it will look like after the ceremony, reception, greeting guests, etc? it's too ornate, too fancy, and too expensive for me. unfortunately it's also too late and unless i buy ANOTHER dress, spending more money, i just have to live with this one.

i wanted to post this earlier this morning, but it was an insane day at work and then i had to head into the city for my english conversation volunteering so the first time i've been able to log into lj today is right now. nearly 9pm.

anyway, i just had this to say:

has your mayor been arrested lately as part of a 2-year federal real estate corruption, money-laundering and organ-selling scheme?

MINE WAS!

way to live up to our well-deserved reputation as THE most corrupt state in the union guys!

it's amazing and more than a little depressing how many of the folks in my email contact list have not been heard from in years.

out of curiosity, i started scrolling back through my inbox and sent folder, reading old emails and musing over the dates of some of my last correspondences. it's literally been 4 or 5 years in some cases. why do i keep these people's email addresses?

it all made me realise how many friends i had at one point, how few i have now, and how much i miss some of the folks who are gone.

after three weeks of phone calls, emails, registered letters and follow-ups on all of the above, i FINALLY have received an answer on my $4900 surgical invoice...

wait for it...

i'm not liable and all charges have been 'covered'.

yay!

but wait, where did those charges go? why did i receive a bill in the first place? why was i repeatedly assured that yes, indeed, i was responsible for 50% of that particular $10k invoice and that was that? something strikes me as incredibly wrong that only by dint of bloody-mindedness i was able to fight these charges and win. not to mention i was fortunate that the surgical center and aetna relented and dropped the charges (literally they have disappeared, aetna did not pay them and the surgical center did not reduce their out-of-network percentage bs). score one for the little guy. but how many folks receive such a bill and despair (as i did at first). they make a couple calls, visit their doctor, get the same response that i did, give up and resign themselves to trying to pay off the bill, bit by bit? or eventually they go bankrupt because their medical bills are 10x or even 50x mine?

anyhow, i don't mean this to be a treatise on all that's wrong with the american medical system. lord knows, more articulate folks than i have taken that on themselves. i still have a separate $1600 invoice for my surgeon to pay off, but at least that is payable in the near 12-month future. so i feel relived that the bigger debt is taken care of, i just feel outraged at the idea i would have paid for something that was completely unnecessary. ugh, maybe i should just be happy i won for once.

it's been 2.5 months since my foot surgery. i was slightly dismayed to receive a bill for $1600 from my doctor last month as my entire deductible is 'only' $1500 per year. but seeing as the charges for the surgery itself, anesthesia, anchor (screws), and the like was over $10k, i considered it ok. as it was, aetna was paying for the surgery.

today i got a bill from the surgical center for $4900. it is past due by 2 months.

apparently aetna is only paying a little over half the surgical costs. i don't know why. well, i know very well why. this is a for-profit health insurance company. duh. but i don't understand why these charges showed 'approved' for the last month or so on my aetna account, and now they are not.

obviously i do not have $4900. i don't really even have $1600. but as i had budgeted about $1000 for the wedding and hoped to save $100 more per month from march thru september, i figured i would just use that wedding money for my doctor bill, which i am now paying off in little installments.

this latest bill just wipes me out.

work has been quite slow this week. our warehouse/factory is shut down for 2 weeks for cost-cutting as well as a general slow down in orders and the number of bottles that need decorating. i still have stuff to do, but it's very quiet. the ambiance and morale is also quite low, which makes for a challenging work atmosphere.

at least the weather is somewhat nicer (in my opinion); folks are complaining about the overabundance of rain this month. i don't mind. it makes everything lush and green! it also seems slightly ironic that if it wasn't raining, it would be hot and humid by now, also making those self-same folks complain. poor babies, they just can't win!

wedding invitations were all mailed out and have arrived at their respective designations by now. another major task complete. my dress arrives in a month but sadly i have not managed to lose any weight. how hard can losing 10 lbs be?! seriously! it is very frustrating. oh, i've been having some am-i-sure-about-this-wedding/cold-feet incidences the last few weeks. smart me brought it up in therapy last night to somewhat satisfactory results. while i don't feel a lot better in the 3 months since i started seeing my doctor, i don't feel as consistently down as i used to. so that can be seen as progress.

so far my plan of being more active this summer is working. i'm getting out more and taking part in a lot of free and low-cost activites in nyc. i love this city for that. so many outdoor concerts, films, parades, street fairs and markets! i also bugged the icny until they let me come back as a volunteer english conversation partner. yay! i had my first meeting last thursday and will continue one evening a week through the summer and fall.

hopefully it will be a good summer.

note to self: raspberries and chocolate ice cream are not good things to eat prior to licking 100 invitation envelopes.

i love le mans circuit. it's such a brilliant race.

for the first time in a couple years i've actually been able to follow live coverage today and it's been awesome. not only that, but peugeot is having a good race! and not only that, one of my favorite f1 drivers is there, driving for peugeot, and doing really well! oh that sebastien bourdais, he makes eye-glasses on a racecar driver so damned sexy.

but i'm exhausted, and i should be going to bed. i'm too old to stay up all night and watch races like i used to during high school and university days. still i'm afraid if i fall asleep i'll somehow jinx it, and my guys will...not be in the same leading position when i wake up (i can't bring myself to actually write the l-word).

maybe i'll just watch one more hour, and then take a quick nap.

for the first time in awhile i had a thoroughly good weekend.

i got out to brooklyn for the first time in months, went to brighton beach, went to the east village, went to washington sq park, saw both my nyc friends and spent time talking and catching up. it was also a beautiful sunny weekend with perfect summer weather. my feet hurt (getting used to sandals again) not to mention my right foot is still a little too swollen to fit properly in a shoe. but it was so nice to be ambulatory again.

i do need to make more friends though. the ones i have are great, but i can't rely on them completely. i need some fresh blood in my acquaintance circle.

i'm back at work now every day and my foot is almost back to 'normal'. the joint is still a bit stiff where they screwed the bones back into place but otherwise it looks and functions pretty much as a normal foot.

work is very stressful these days, to a point where i've almost stopped caring because every day is like that. today though is almost quiet and it's such a change that i think my brain just shut down once it realised i didn't have to be running on adrenaline again all day. so i've been reading some blogs i'd yet to visit this week, emailing some friends, confirming reservations for my 3-day honeymoon this september, and posting here.

i've had four coworkers in two weeks inquire as to my state of mind. apparently it is now obvious that i'm depressed. other than realising how bad i really must appear, it surprised me to see that i couldn't even muster up the energy or false conviction to lie, smile and say i felt fine.

the title says it all! i had my last phys therapy session today, took some xrays and the bone is fully healed. i can go back to wearing normal shoes, no more clomping around in a surgical boot. still, i think i will wear it to and from work this week. i have so much standing/waiting between bus and train transfers, i'd rather have something really stable to support my foot. also since i'm still limping, i feel like at least i'll have a visible excuse for doing so. if i were wearing two normal shoes, i'd just look like someone that couldn't walk properly.

work is very stressful and i have admitted to myself that i am officially depressed.

wedding and married life plans are proceeding apace.

nicked from whatami.

You Are the Communicator

You are a collector and facilitator of knowledge. You love storytelling and teaching. You light up when you're around other people, and you especially light up in front of a crowd. You are a charismatic person who's genuinely a joy to be with. You remind others to have fun. You love life, and you're wake up grateful for every new day. This attitude makes the people around you love life as well.

i'm still here, just a bit immobilised from the surgery. it's been 6 days now and it's so very frustrating not to be able to just get up and walk when i realise i want something like oh, a glass of water, my laptop, to go to the bathroom, etc. 6 more weeks of this will be a trial. i'm not even sure how i'll manage on public transport to and from work every day but i'll worry about that when it arrives.

i had my first post-op check-up yesterday and my foot looks fine. there are lots of interesting purple and greenish bruises but overall the color is good which means it's healing up well and no blood poisoning. yay. i also have a 3" line of neat blue stitches all along the first metatarsal on my right foot. that will look interesting when it heals. there's a smaller stitched up line under the arch where my doctor went in to take some cartilage samples, but that will be pretty much invisible once it heals. if all goes well, the stitches all scheduled to be taken out next friday, in the meantime my foot is all wrapped up in compression bandages.

i was on oxycodone for about 4 days when i came to the determination i could not put up with the nausea anymore. it was constantly there and nothing i ate or didn't eat made any difference. so yesterday i decided to switch to advil and so far it's been alright. my foot still aches a bit but at least i don't fear throwing up every time i get up. that's a plus!

working from home is going ok. it feels weird to be disconnected from the office and have people ignore my emails since i'm not there in person to follow up. still, it's not too bad and at least this way my accounts aren't falling behind and i won't go back to the office in two weeks to pages and pages of unread emails and a stack of new orders and invoices on my desk.

one good thing about being home this week is i can watch the champions league games on tv live instead of following the text coverage via internet. wahoo. come on arsenal!